GlassAngel at Home

OK so I have been planning for 2 weeks a couples only weekend at the bf's stepdad's trailer in WI with my best friend & her fiancee (who's wedding I am in in 2 weeks) so that R and them could get to know each other before the wedding. Last week before I finalized everything with her I made him check that NO ONE else was going to be there. I was told no one would be there.

Then Wednesday I find out that not only will his step dad be there...but HIS son and the son's 3 kids will be there! I was upset...but worked the plan so we would have tents for us and the other couple so we don't have to sleep in the trailer with the kids/dad's. I was still a little upset that we would have kids running around while we were doing our drinking/bonfire thing. In my family there is NO, I mean no drinking around kids, period, but his family does it, so I let that go. I mean it is not his fault that the step dad forgot we were going to be there this weekend and told his son he could come up.

So last night I made this super awesome Triple Chocolate Bundt cake that takes forever to bake, to add to the cookout that we are now having with everyone, not just my friends on saturday evening. This morning I had R come pick it up and take it home so I wouldn't have to worry about someone trying to mess with it where I work (since he is picking me up right from work to go north). Well turns out his mom asked him if she could have some AND HE SAID YES! and so they cut in to my cake! I am so pissed right now, that I can't even talk to him! I can't believe he thought it "would be ok". I mean it was made FOR TOMMORROW'S COOKOUT not for today, just because "it looks good".

Yes I know it is just a stupid cake...but it is the whole thing...the kids, and the cake and the no control over the lovely weekend I had planned. Yes I love the man and his devotion to his family is one thing that makes me really love him. BUT we do at least one thing, if not 2, with his family every weekend, and then the family dinner at least 1 night a week. I mean how can you not when he still lives at home. This was to be a nice "away from his family for a change" weekend and now things are just really fucked!

I really at this moment want to just go home and go to bed, but I can't because I have company coming to the trailer and I need to be there. I sat here at my desk trying not to cry for about 15 min, and then I spent another 25 wanting to punch something because when I tried to explain how upset I was he didn't get it. So now I'm writing because I need to really calm down before I get in the car with him in 20 min and am stuck there for the next 2 hours. I also need to let it go so I can have fun this weekend with friends who I only see once in a while. I have a tendency, once things don't go my way/as planned to stay mad for a loooong time (see above about going to bed) thus ruining any fun I might have had if I could just let it go.

And now I'm back to wanting to cry again.

(yes I know I have anger management issues)

Posted in: General Life on Friday, June 29, 2007 at 3:43 PM 0 comments    

I know I have become a bad blogger again...only telling what is going on after it has long passed. So here I go again....

Saturday I went to a graduation party with R & family. (pic of me and R to left) We had some fun, drank a little (since we weren't driving) and had a lot more fun when we got home. Hard to imagine someone can become so important to me in such a short time, but it has happened. He said the "l" word again and without even thinking I said it back. I meant it...so it wasn't a problem I said it...I just didn't mean to say it so soon.

Sunday again with R and family I went to the south side to a street fair. R and his brother hit it hard and I got to see how R is when he is really trashed...it was a eye opening experience. I didn't drink since I was the DD, but still ended up with a migraine that put me in bed most of Monday.

Posted in: General Life on Tuesday, June 26, 2007 at 10:26 AM 2 comments    

Well I lost 1 lb of the 3.5 lbs I gained last week...still not getting all my work outs in during the week and eating with R's family is still killing me on the weekends. I have been on this gain/lose of the same 5lbs for a month or so now and it is starting to piss me off big time!

So total so far:
Week 1: -1.5 lbs
Week 2: -1.5 lbs
Week 3: +2 lbs
Week 4: -2 lbs
Week 5: -.5 lbs
Week 6: +3.5 lbs
Weel 7: -1 lb
Total lost: 0 lbs

Posted in: General Life on at 10:15 AM 2 comments    

So my monthy visitor is kickin my ass right now.....

So total so far:
Week 1: -1.5 lbs
Week 2: -1.5 lbs
Week 3: +2 lbs
Week 4: -2 lbs
Week 5: -.5 lbs
Week 6: +3.5 lbs
Total lost: 0 lbs

How is tat for really bad!

Posted in: General Life on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 at 8:27 AM 6 comments    

Last week was major busy. Tuesday and wednesday Coworker R and my direct boss went and spent some time at Neocon. There was some upheaval at work that changed who my boss actually is, so that was fun. I completed and went live with most of the work website...but I still have a ton of stuff to do for the salesman. So I will be working on that this week.

R and I went to the wedding on saturday, it was a ton of fun. I wore the brown dress I already had, but bought new shoes and accessories. A ton of pics were taken so as soon as I see a few I will post them.

Then on sunday we vegged till it was time to go to Little Italy to celebrate Father's Day for his step dad. There was a festival going on and I bought a cool new ring
and a cute necklace

We ate at a really great restaurant...like always. It was fun and I really love his family. Someone asked again how long we had been together again..and we both drew a blank so I looked it up and it has only been 5 weeks...it is hard to imagine getting this attached to someone so fast. I mean we are talking about things we will be doing in a year...and that is a little scary cause it mean we each are thinking we will still be together then. He has been good about the "love you's" but he did say it again this weekend, and I almost said it back. But I still think it is too soon even if I think it might be true.

I am tuckered out right now...it is hard to sleep with him cause he likes to hug me all night, which I am so not used to so I find it hard to sleep. I slept like a rock last night after I got home, but I think I will be taking it easy tonight.

Posted in: General Life on Monday, June 18, 2007 at 10:35 AM 0 comments    

Things are way hectic around here right now. So all I can say is week 5 is only down .5lb...better than nothing I say!

So total so far:
Week 1: -1.5 lbs
Week 2: -1.5 lbs
Week 3: +2 lbs
Week 4: -2 lbs
Week 5: -.5 lbs
Total lost: 3.5 lbs

Posted in: General Life on Tuesday, June 12, 2007 at 6:36 PM 3 comments    

Well week 4 wasn't so bad...

I did all of my work outs and lost the 2lbs I gained the week before...but no more weight lost for the challenge.

So total so far:
Week 1: -1.5 lbs
Week 2: -1.5 lbs
Week 3: +2 lbs
Week 4: -2 lbs
Total lost: 3 lbs

Posted in: General Life on Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 8:33 AM 2 comments    

That a catholic 8th grade graduation would be a celebration mass? Well not me that is for sure. R's (I think is) cousin graduated from 8th grade this weekend and I was told the ceremony wouldn't be that long and then we would go to that party. So I got dressed up and over to his house at 11:30 Sunday morning to ride over with his mom and brother. I wouldn't call 2 hours a short ceremony...especially since it was a ton of stuff I have never seen before; sit down, stand up, respond, kneel (3 times!) sing, wait for communion to get done. Now I spent a lot of time in church till the day I turned 18...and never did we do some of this stuff. So Sunday was the first catholic service experience for me.

Saturday R and I went to the Evanston Farmer's Market bought some nice stuff then bummed around downtown for a while (I bought the cutest purse)and then I went home. I showed his mom my dress for the wedding and she loved it so it is a go...and now I don't have to go shopping! He even has a shirt that will look really good with it he says.

Friday night after work I headed over to R's house to do dinner with the family, which lasted till almost 10pm, then watched a movie before falling asleep The man is such a gentleman that I had no problem falling asleep with him. Then in the morning we got up and went to market.

Next weekend R and I will be going to J-ville and staying at the trailer for the weekend. It was the plan to go up for my dress fitting, but that got moved since the groom's mom is having a stint put in on tuesday. BUT Dee called on saturday to say that she is having a b-day party for Grandma, so we are still going up to go to that. This will be that first time we are somewhere completely alone, and while I am not really worried about it I am feeling nervous/excited by it. We had a talk about things we like/don't like this weekend so I'm feeling a little better about how slow he is taking things right now. What I am really nervous is him meeting my whole family. I have tried to explain how crazy they are, but I just don't think he is getting it.

Posted in: General Life on Monday, June 4, 2007 at 9:04 AM 0 comments    

While reading blogs tonight I came across this....

Find a guy...
who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy...
who kisses your forehead.
who wants to show you off to the world even if you are in your sweats.
who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the guy...
who treats you like a princess and puts no other woman ahead of you
who isn't ever afraid or ashamed to tell you he loves you and
whose kiss makes your heart flutter.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

Posted in: Thought For The Day on Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 7:02 PM 0 comments    

My weekend was long, and made me want to rest from all of the stuff done!

Friday I only had to work a half day from home, so R met me at the HIP and I got a few new clothes, one of which being a totally cute sun dress that I can't wait to wear. Then Friday evening I did laundry so I had something to take up to J-ville to help R and family open up their trailer.

Saturday I met them at their house then we trekked up and started working on the trailer. R & I did a trip in to see the sis and her family for a hour or so before we went out to dinner with his family. It was a interesting night, since his mom was asleep on a sofa above my head, then on a blow up bed was his sister, him and then me. It was a very weird night...let me just say that. I have never tried to go to sleep with the bf's family all around us before.

Sunday was the trip back...oh so much fun. After we made it back to his house we watched movies till really late and I went home.

Monday he picked me up and we went to the Lincoln Park Zoo. It is a really cool zoo, I can't believe that it is free! Then late afternoon we went back to his house for the cookout his mom was having. I almost OD'ed on family togetherness with that cookout. I have got to talk to him about the over doing of family stuff, but that is another post all together.

So today it is back to work...and I am so tuckered out that I can really not think anymore. I had a BIG bid due at noon today and it didn't make it (partly due to a boss who didn't do what he said he would last week)in till just after 3pm. I did get my walk in at lunch time, in a tube top in a attempt to get the sun I need.

I still need to talk to R about a few things...one of them being the family thing all the time. Also he said the L-word again. Twice. I wasn't sure how to respond. It is just too soon for me to say it back. Just because I really like him, doesn't mean that I do yet. I also have some doubt that he actually means it is the other thing...I mean I know love at first sight is in all the fairy tales...but does it really happen? I really have my doubts as much as I wish it was true.

Posted in: General Life on at 3:34 PM 0 comments    

Ok the past week sucked big time... I had my period plus I had to do a ton of eating out with my bf's family while we were out of town and at cookouts. Not only did I not lose weight but I gained a little back, 2lbs! I am not happy with it...so I will just have to work extra hard this week to get rid of it again!

(I will post about the actual weekend later...this is just so I can log in to the challenge board!)

Posted in: General Life on at 11:11 AM 3 comments    

Ok feeling really bad today... my lovely monthly visitor is here and not making things go to well this week. I want to eat everything that I have put on my temporary on-hold list, the chocolate, fries and other bad for me food. I also am mood swinging like crazy today...not fun. I just want to sleep...for like 5years. It was so hard getting out of bed this morning.

Last night I did a hour of strength training...and man I can feel the aches today.The time spent on my triceps is what is really killing me. After supper I walked another 3 miles...taking my daily total to 5 miles.

Today is my official weight in day and I only lost .5 lb this week. That really kills the weight in loss I had for the May Challenge on Tuesday. That is why I am keeping my Thursday weight in cause it is more reliable. I am not happy with that tiny amount, but the pair of pants I am using as a "actual clothes" gauge fit a little better this week so it must be that I am replacing fat with muscle to not lose more. Also the above mentioned visitor may have a little to do with it too.

Posted in: General Life on Thursday, May 24, 2007 at 8:36 AM 0 comments    

Well week 2 of the challenge is done... not the best week for me. I had a dinner date, a b-day party and a bridal shower all to attend in the last 4 days so I was expecting to stay the same...or go up, but nope, I lost another 1.5 lbs. I ate well at everything...except the dinner date! I really hate to be one of those girls that go out on a date, then eat a salad, making the guy think why did I ask her out. I had a fitting for the Bridesmaid dress that started this all this weekend after the shower, and the dress needs work, but I could fit into it and get it zipped up so I am happy at the moment. I just keep telling myself that I will be down by another 10-13 lbs before I have to wear it.

So total so far:
Week 1: 1.5lbs
Week 2: 1.5lbs
Total lost: 3lbs

Posted in: General Life on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 9:36 AM 5 comments    

Saturday was a uneventful day, did all the laundry, cleaned house, read a book. R came over in the evening and went grocery shopping with me and watched part of a movie before he had to go home to bed for his early morning at work.

Sunday I went north for the bridal shower....which was a ton of fun. We got to torture L with a ton of bridal shower games one of which was the tp bridal dress fun you see over there. She got a ton of cool gifts, which I had a hard time writing down as fast as she opened them. After we got everything packed up in her car I went and picked up the shoes she had picked out for us, then off we drove to the groom's mother's house (who oddly enough was someone I had worked with for 4 years in high school) for her to fit my dress. I did fit into it all zipped up and everything, but the bodice was huge (sounds like the other girls were the same) and it needs to be taken out in the hips a little. I will have to go back on the 9th to try it again, so she can fit me for the length after she lets the sides out. The shoes are nothing I will wear again, but if I take the dress and have it altered to take off the train part then I can wear the dress to D's wedding in the fall. It will be a good color for then...but I will need a fancy sweater.

After the fitting I drove home, stopping to visit with R for a couple of hours. We watched some tv and talked, then I came home. We got into a text talk that ended up with me feeling very much so out of sorts when I went to bed. I woke up this morning with a really sore jaw from grinding my teeth all night. I don't think I will share right now what that talk was about...but maybe I will in the future.

Posted in: General Life on Monday, May 21, 2007 at 1:39 PM 0 comments    

Last night I went with R to a B-day party for the 9yo son of a family friend. I picked out a cool gift for us to take, kids metal detector, which was a big hit. I thought things went ok, I was having fun talking to his brother and brother-in-law. Once again they made lots of fun about me being from Wi, which was ok. They were talking about going up to the camper they have and how J-ville was were they went if they wanted to do anything. I drank a ton of champagne, not my normal drink, but it looks like I'm going to have to learn how to like wine if I hang with him much more. I also am going to have to find out how many calories some of the things I ate are...but I'm not going to worry to much about that. We left about 11:30pm, since R had to be at work at 7am, and I was getting sleepy from champagne.

I get home, and I'm drinking a ton of water to combat the headache that is already forming from the champagne when I get a TM. It reads " Hun, I don't know if this is to early to say this to you. I love you."

I. kid. you. not.

I choked then proceeded to sprayed my kitchen with the large drink of water I had just taken. It took me about 5 min to stop choking long enough for me to text him back and say "ummm yeah, too soon." I couldn't even think of what else to say.

We have know each other for less than 3 weeks. This was technically our 3rd date. And the boy has been treating me like his sister, hugs when we meet, 2 second smooch when we separate, which is almost the same thing I get from everyone else around him. WTF? I'm sorry but I am not quite sure how to proceed with this! I am not even sure I like him enough to keep seeing him...though I love his family, who has welcomed me every time I see them as if I am his long time GF.

Yes it is nice to be wanted and to have things done for me, but is it just rude of me to let him think that there is hope, when I am not even sure of it myself?

Posted in: General Life on Saturday, May 19, 2007 at 10:10 AM 0 comments    

Me a man that does cool stuff for you...like change the oil in your car. Which is what R did for me yesterday. I took it over at lunch time then he drove me back to work and then picked Coworker R and I back up when we where ready to leave for the day.

* not saying I love HIM, just that I love a helpful man.

Posted in: General Life on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 9:56 AM 0 comments    

Well week 1 is done in the May Challenge. I started a few days late, but since I was already tracking my weight I know what I weighed last Tuesday to compare. I have lost 1.5 lbs. I can see by my daily tracking that Sunday thru Tuesday are always low weight days and Wednesday it spikes back up and Thursday is my true weight day. So I will keep doing both days to see if I am on track or not.

Posted in: General Life on Tuesday, May 15, 2007 at 8:22 AM 3 comments    

So Friday night I went out with the new guy, R. He picked me up at about 7:30 and meandered our way to Flattop Grill for supper. We had about a 25 min drive (with a stop for a really long train) and a 25 min wait for our table so we got to talk a little bit about ourselves and our families. By the time we finished our meals and our desert and got me back home it was after 10 and I was ready for bed. It went well.

Saturday I went and purchased my gift for the bridal shower next weekend. I spent what I wanted to so I am happy. I cleaned house, did laundry by hand (because I am boycotting the laundries around my house) and went grocery shopping. I did finally get some flowers sent to Mom, for Mother's Day along with 2lbs of chocolate.

Sunday afternoon I made my way to his house for the graduation party of his brother's girlfriend. I did lots of handshakes and "glad to meet you" greetings and 5 hours later as I left I got tons of hugs and kiss with my goodbyes. While there I felt very poor, very fat and very much so from WI. Every one was very nice, but the women were all beautiful, petite, dark italians, dripping with diamonds.

I had mentioned to R that I didn't do well with crowds of people I don't know and I guess he took that as his sign that he needed to stay by me most of the time. If he had to do something he would tell me where he was going and how long till he would be back. About 3 hours in I told him to leave me and go play beanbag toss with all of the guys and he didn't even last long with that before he came back to me. I spent a long time talking to his sister and her mother-in-law, who were both supper nice and talked about sports way too much. He made sure someone took our picture, which was in my email box this morning when I woke up. The food was great...5 italian main dishes with many sides. I was really good and ate well, only having 2 tiny pcs of desert.

At one point his sister was talking about a family member not present that ran a restaurant in Wi, and who has a lazy, cheating wife. After explaining that she didn't help out at the restaurant, clean their kids or house and was running around on him she said "because that is what they do up there in WI." I then said "wow, now she is maligning my home state". She just looked at me blankly and said oh sorry and continued on with the conversation. After I got home I called my mom and told her and she started laughing, commenting that it must be odd, having been looked down on at times for being black, now I was being looked down on because I was from Wi.

Posted in: General Life on Monday, May 14, 2007 at 10:59 AM 0 comments    

So yesterday at lunch I ran out quick to do a first meet and greet with a guy I had been talking to off MS. He seems very nice, but a bit shy and geeky. After I returned to the shop I got a text from him saying that he thought I was really pretty and would like to see me again. Even though he is so not someone I would normally go out with, I decided to be more open and say yes.

Not a hour later I got a text asking me if I would go to a wedding in June with him. This cause a flurry of whispered conversation between Coworker R about if 1. this is something he should have have been asking me at all and 2. about whether or not I should say yes. I asked if I could get back to him on it and he said yes...only to text me an hour later and say he needed to know yet that day.

On the way home in the car I texted him back to ask if he thought this wasn't a little soon to be asking something like that and his answer..."I don't think so". This sent peals of laughter ringing through my car as I told Coworker R what he had said. After asking a zillion and one questions about the wedding I finally said I would go with him.

Now there is a mad hunt to figure out what to wear as it is a late afternoon church/ early evening reception fancy thing. I may pull the old brown dress out of moth balls for it or I may just go find something new...I haven't decide yet cause I don't know how fancy I should go.

Posted in: General Life on Friday, May 11, 2007 at 2:38 PM 0 comments    

I have always been a "big boned" girl, in fact most of my family is. Last year as I ditched the really bad for me ex I decided to do something about the weight I had added in the past couple of years. After stepping on a scale and finding myself at I record high I knew I had to do something. At that point I started using SparkPeople to help me track both food intake and exercise. Yeah I have had a few stops and starts, but it has been a good thing for me. As of right now I am 28 lbs down from that high weight of a year ago. I am still looking to lose another 57ish but my current short term goal is another 16lbs by the time I need to wear a very orange dress in my best friends wedding. I mean come on...who really wants to look like a pumpkin in wedding pictures...not me that is for sure.

Today even though I am a few day beyond the start date I am going to join another group that will help me be accountable...

I will be looking to lose the max healthy weight of 2lbs a week for a total of 36 by the challenge end date of September 18th.

Posted in: General Life on at 2:03 PM 3 comments